A little personal place for me and everyone who stops by to hang out.
I'll start
Published on June 6, 2017 By BigDogBigFeet In Life, the Universe and Everything

Signs seen at the restaurant workers' pep rally.

 

"EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS AFTER THEY PICK IT"

"NO CRACK MINING AT THE KID'S MEAL STATION"

"PLEASE DON'T SNEEZE IN THE CARRY OUT BAGS"

"REMEMBER TO SMILE AND SAY WELCOME TO FLUFFY'S FOOT LONGS"


Comments (Page 2)
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on Jun 09, 2017

International Toilets this way>>>>

 

Russian going in

European inside

Finnish and out.

on Jun 09, 2017

That's a bit like the international lecher with Roman hands and Russian fingers.

on Jan 16, 2022

A man had three girlfriends and was trying to decide which one should he marry.  He decided to give them all a test with money giving each one $5000 and would judge how each used the money.

The first spent all the money on beauty.  She went to a fancy beauty salon and got her hair and makeup done. She bought new clothes, shoes and some jewelry.  When he saw her, he was amazed and remarked how beautiful she looked.  She said I did this all for you, to make you happy.

The second thought about him and remembered he said he loved golfing the most.  She bought new golf clubs for both of them and booked a weekend at his favorite golf resort.  When he saw her, he was amazed and remarked how thoughtful she was.  She said I did this all for you, to make you happy.

The third thought about the value of the money.  She opened an investment account and in short time managed to double the money.  She gave him the $5000 back and said the investment account would be used to help pay for their future together.   When he saw her, he was amazed and remarked how good she was with money. She said I did this all for you, to make you happy.

The man thought about each of the three women and what they had done with the $5000 he had given to them.

Then he married the one with the BIG BOOBS.

on Jan 16, 2022

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.

He's not breathing, so his friend calls 911. 'My friend is dead! What should I do?"

The operator replies, "Calm down, sir, first make sure that he's really dead."

There's a silence, then a loud bang.

Back on the phone, the guy says, "Ok, now what?"

on Jan 16, 2022

lol ....

on Jan 16, 2022

 That joke has been called the funniest joke ever.

on Jan 17, 2022

BONEHEADdb

 That joke has been called the funniest joke ever.

What happened to...

"My dog has no nose.."

"How does he smell?"

"Terrible."   ? ...

on Jan 17, 2022

BONEHEADdb

 That joke has been called the funniest joke ever.

Bravo! Scientifically proven.   

For Jafo:

I renamed my iPad 'The Titanic', so when I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing".

on Jan 17, 2022

My shutdown sound is still...

Ooh be do....bit tired maybe, best not to say more.  Bedways is rightways now, best be going homeways and get a bit of spatchka....

on Jan 18, 2022
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client. "Robert," he said, "I have some good news and I have some bad news."
 
The art collector replied, "You know, I've had an awful day, Jack, so let's hear the good news first."
 
The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she thinks will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million...and I think she could be right."
 
Robert replied enthusiastically, "Holy cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn't she? You've just made my day! Now, I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
 
His lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary."
on Jan 18, 2022

A three-legged dog walked into a bar; he was looking for the man that shot his paw.

 

here is on from a Dad Joke App:

how did the Hipster drown? He went ice skating on the pond before it was cool. 

 

this is simply good advice: always yell Fire! Fire! if you get stuck in an outhouse because noone's coming to help if all you're yelling is "#$%@!".

 

Vegetarian Beef Broth this is my assumption of vegetarian friendly beef broth production (this is in a medical doctor's bathroom)

on Jan 18, 2022

A young man is flying home to New York from California and settles into his seat bracing for a long flight.  He sees a young lady across the aisle and decides to try and have some fun with her.

He turns to her and asks, "Do you want to play a little game?"  She says "sure."  "I'll make you a small wager.  I'll ask you a question and, if you can't get the answer right you give me $5 and then, you can ask me a question and if I can't get the answer right, I'll give you $500."  She says "Wow a hundred to one odds for me.  I agree."

He thinks and then he says:  "What is the average distance from the earth to the moon?"  She wrinkles her brow opens her purse and hands him $5.  He takes the $5 saying the answer is 239,228.3 mi.

She thinks and then says: "What walks up a hill on three legs but, walks back down the hill on four legs?"  He gets befuddled, wrinkles his brow,  and looks down, mutters a few times and finally says "I give up and angrily gives her the $500.  He says, "ya, so what the answer?"  She looks at him and hands him another $5.

 

on Jan 18, 2022

BigDogBigFeet

She looks at him and hands him another $5.

LMAO! Eggsellent!

on Jan 18, 2022

Observation....

You can lead a whore to culture,

but you can't make her think.

on Jan 18, 2022

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