As the bus pulled up at the bus stop and it was her turn to get on, Melissa became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to raise to the height of the first step of the bus:
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind herself to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to discover that she still couldn't.
So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the third time attempted the step.
Once again, much to her dismay, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.
At this point, a large bodybuilder who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled. "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"
The bodybuilder smiled and drawled. "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we were friends!"

Here is a football play joke.

Shotgun formation 31 dive double barrel shotgun on 3.

Break.

Sam Connors went to see his doctor about having a vasectomy.

His Doctor said, " That's a pretty big decision, have you talked it over with your family?"

"Yes," Sam replied, "They're in favor of it, 14 to 3."

A man has a construction job, it is bone crushing dirty, sweaty hard work.

8 hours 9 hours 10 hours a day maybe 6 days a week maybe 5.

When he gets home he takes a shower to wash off the dirt.

He is now thinking about what he has to do tomorrow to keep his job, and all

the other problems that he has to solve like keeping the car running and how to save some money.

There is a lot to think about and he might be tired.

But he is not done yet, his girl friend says "you don't even know me".

Soon he will hear this timeless phrase.

"I love you but I'm not in love with you"

"I would fix it, if I could".

Now it is time for the man to fix it.

He can take all the time he needs. 

Forever.

I changed my mind after recovering from the food poisoning.

Women like the fool for love doll door mat.

Pick up one for Christmas.

lol