Define man:

An accessory like a purse or a hat.

It's past midnight pumpkin.

When you get mad, take a deep breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. No-one ever expect that.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted my baby and me!”

The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Don't worry, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

On a clear day I can see things 100 miles away, on a clear night I can see things 6 quadrillion miles away.

An old man was kneeling at a headstone and was weeping, "Why did you have to die? My life has been hell every day. Sometimes I want to end it all!".

A young guy stopped and asked the old man, "Who died, gramps?"

"My wife's first husband."

"A future that affects the past."

While living in a future relative to a past that you remember experiencing you realize

that the past that you didn't enjoy at the time was better than the future that you are now experiencing

and you wish you could go back to the past.

You have heard the term "over the hill" this occurs when you realize that your future can never be better than your past.

Someone else's future can still be better.

Cause and effect, sometime after an effect is observed a search for the cause begins.