ChatGPz

Disposable Internet.

You buy a $20 dollar box that connects to the cell phone network and sends Internet to your computer via Wi-Fi.

It works for three months and then you throw it away and get a new one.

You can't walk on egg shells. Why aren't you out on service? Nobody told me. It's never what it's supposed to be.

What ever it takes. The truck will be here at 1pm. What did I say this time.

When do you think it will be done? It will be done as soon as possible we are working as fast as we can.

Which part should we use? Which ever part you want us to use. Do you want to work Saturday?

We are going to 10 hour days and Saturdays. It is a free country.

Would you like to work 7 days a week for 3 months, it is voluntary?

Just think of the millions we'll make. We have a problem. Wait to tell me for 15 minutes.

What do you want me to do next? Clean up. We have been through this before.

The medical insurance and retirement plan have been canceled. I'm thinking positive.

I'm laying everyone off. If everyone takes a pay cut we might be able to open the doors.

The IRS sent their auditor to audit a synagogue.

The auditor is doing all the checks, and then turns to the Rabbi and says, “I noticed that you buy a lot of candles.”
“Yes,” answered the Rabbi.
“Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?” he asked.
“A good question,” noted the Rabbi. “We actually save them up. When we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker and every now and then, they send us a free box of candles.”
“Oh,” replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his question actually had a practical answer.

So he thought he’d try another question, in his obnoxious way. “Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases? What do you do with the crumbs from the matzo?
“Ah, yes,” replied the Rabbi calmly, “we actually collect up the crumbs, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a box of matzo balls.”
“Oh,” replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi.

“Well, Rabbi,” he went on, “what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions?”
“Yes, here too, we do not waste,” answered the Rabbi. “What we do is save up all the foreskins, and when we have enough we actually send them to the IRS.”
“To the IRS ?” questioned the auditor in disbelief.
“Ah, yes,” replied the Rabbi, “directly to The IRS …And about once a year, they send us a little prick like you.”

It's weird being the same age as old people!  

Thank you Google...

-Does it have apples in it?

- No.

- How about pine?

- Nope, no pine either.

- Great, then we'll call it pineapple.